Trying To Conceive

My husband and I have been trying to conceive baby #2 for a little over two years now. It seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant too. Especially unplanned pregnancies by single women that for some reason come to me for advice about what to do with their baby daddy drama. I find it really hard for me to be sympathetic to their situation. I know it is very selfish of me, but trying to conceive has been a very difficult process for me emotionally. None of my friends or family have had problems trying to conceive so I feel as if no one can really relate to what I am going through. I try really hard not to get my hopes during the 2 weeks between ovulation and the first day of my period. Although I do think about it every day during those 2 weeks and analyze any kind of changes in my body and mood and secretly tell myself 'maybe it's because I'm pregnant.' I only allow that thought to cross my mind for just a second, because when my period does start it is the most disappointing feeling.

The month of November was the worst month for this. I just knew I was pregnant. A little over a week after ovulation my breast were incredibly tender and I was extremely tired and had no energy what so ever. On Thanksgiving morning I was now 9 days late and I woke up very nauseous and actually threw up that morning while trying to cook for lunch. I rarely throw up. I was very sensitive to smells all day and never really felt sick, just nauseous throughout the day. Then at lunch my aunt (the one that does not like me) told me that my skin looked really great. This is odd for two reasons 1 being my aunt has never given me a complement in my life and 2 I have terrible skin. I just thought to myslef, "It must be the pregnancy glow." That was on Thursday and then on Sunday (now 12 days late) the same thing happened. I woke up very nauseous and threw up without feeling sick. So, Sunday night (which was also my Birthday) my husband wanted to go get a pregnancy test. I told him he didn't need to because I already knew I was pregnant, but if he wanted to he could. He went and got a pregnancy test and we were so excited to take it. I left it on the counter in the bathroom and continued to finish up some house work. My husband went and checked a couple minutes later and it was negative. I told him it was a mistake because I knew I was pregnant. I was absolutely positive I was pregnant. I knew my body and I knew I was pregnant. Well, a couple days later I started my menstruation and was completely destroyed. I cried for at least an hour straight, I'm even tearing up right now just thinking about it! I have never been so disappointed in my life. I can't even begin to explain the emotional roller coaster this has been, but when it happens for us it will all be worth it!


I would love to meet other women that have been through this process before or are going through it now. I could really use a support system and would love advice on this. My Doctor has given me some advice, but I'm ready for more. He has pretty much just told me to 'listen to my body' He told me I would have a cramping feeling around 14 days after the first day of my period and I would be highly 'in the mood' I can also tell when I'm ovulating because the skin on my face will be softer and glowing. This is nature taking it's course. When your ovulating your skin glows to attract a mate and your body releases male hormones to make you want to get it on! Our bodies are amazing!! I love my Doctor, he always told me when I was pregnant to listen to my body and I think that was the best advice anyone had ever given me about pregnancy and delivery. I have an appointment next week after listening to my body for 5 months and no baby. I'm really scared that something is wrong with me. I mean 2 years! That's a long time. I'm ready for answers though. This has caused a lot of heart ache for us and I'm really just ready to know something, anything, good or bad. If you have any advice to share or need any be sure to contact me through comments or email. Wish me luck next week!!