My Appointment

I had my obgyn appointment yesterday that I was talking about here. My doctor wants me to start tracking and graphing my ovulation now. I had done a bunch of research online about this a year or so ago. I tracked for several months, but didn't really know what everything meant! I had joined an ovulation calendar website that was very informative, but I still had a lot of questions. I stopped graphing 5 months ago at my last appointment because my doctor wanted me to focus more on 'listening to my body.' So, now I have had a lot of my questions answered and I understand more about what I'm suppose to do. Although I really don't enjoy using a basal thermometer!!

Graphing your ovulation is when you take your temperature first thing in the morning. You should always do so before you move around because when you move around your temperature goes up. Ovulation is usually when your temperature rises 4-6 tenths of a degree. Usually mine drops a couple of degrees the day before ovulation, than rises around 5 or 6 degrees. I also found another website called Family Planning that describes what kind of bodily changes to look for during ovulation.

My doctor is also wanting to check my husband's 'swimmers' He said there has been an increase in men being infertile lately. I guess infertility in a man can happen any time for unknown reasons. So, a man can father a child and then become infertile and not be able to conceive another one. I never knew this before. I really hope this isn't what is going on. If it is, then I have no idea what the next step would be. I should have asked my doctor, but of course that information took me by surprise. My husband isn't very enthused about getting checked. Like it's a shot at his manhood or something! I'm more of the type that I just want to know either way what we're working with. I have to graph for 2 months and then go back for a follow up appointment, so hopefully we'll be expecting soon!! BTW I just love this picture I posted. I have no idea who the photographer is. My friend sent it to me recently and I fell in love with it and wanted to share it with all of you!

Trying To Conceive

My husband and I have been trying to conceive baby #2 for a little over two years now. It seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant too. Especially unplanned pregnancies by single women that for some reason come to me for advice about what to do with their baby daddy drama. I find it really hard for me to be sympathetic to their situation. I know it is very selfish of me, but trying to conceive has been a very difficult process for me emotionally. None of my friends or family have had problems trying to conceive so I feel as if no one can really relate to what I am going through. I try really hard not to get my hopes during the 2 weeks between ovulation and the first day of my period. Although I do think about it every day during those 2 weeks and analyze any kind of changes in my body and mood and secretly tell myself 'maybe it's because I'm pregnant.' I only allow that thought to cross my mind for just a second, because when my period does start it is the most disappointing feeling.

The month of November was the worst month for this. I just knew I was pregnant. A little over a week after ovulation my breast were incredibly tender and I was extremely tired and had no energy what so ever. On Thanksgiving morning I was now 9 days late and I woke up very nauseous and actually threw up that morning while trying to cook for lunch. I rarely throw up. I was very sensitive to smells all day and never really felt sick, just nauseous throughout the day. Then at lunch my aunt (the one that does not like me) told me that my skin looked really great. This is odd for two reasons 1 being my aunt has never given me a complement in my life and 2 I have terrible skin. I just thought to myslef, "It must be the pregnancy glow." That was on Thursday and then on Sunday (now 12 days late) the same thing happened. I woke up very nauseous and threw up without feeling sick. So, Sunday night (which was also my Birthday) my husband wanted to go get a pregnancy test. I told him he didn't need to because I already knew I was pregnant, but if he wanted to he could. He went and got a pregnancy test and we were so excited to take it. I left it on the counter in the bathroom and continued to finish up some house work. My husband went and checked a couple minutes later and it was negative. I told him it was a mistake because I knew I was pregnant. I was absolutely positive I was pregnant. I knew my body and I knew I was pregnant. Well, a couple days later I started my menstruation and was completely destroyed. I cried for at least an hour straight, I'm even tearing up right now just thinking about it! I have never been so disappointed in my life. I can't even begin to explain the emotional roller coaster this has been, but when it happens for us it will all be worth it!


I would love to meet other women that have been through this process before or are going through it now. I could really use a support system and would love advice on this. My Doctor has given me some advice, but I'm ready for more. He has pretty much just told me to 'listen to my body' He told me I would have a cramping feeling around 14 days after the first day of my period and I would be highly 'in the mood' I can also tell when I'm ovulating because the skin on my face will be softer and glowing. This is nature taking it's course. When your ovulating your skin glows to attract a mate and your body releases male hormones to make you want to get it on! Our bodies are amazing!! I love my Doctor, he always told me when I was pregnant to listen to my body and I think that was the best advice anyone had ever given me about pregnancy and delivery. I have an appointment next week after listening to my body for 5 months and no baby. I'm really scared that something is wrong with me. I mean 2 years! That's a long time. I'm ready for answers though. This has caused a lot of heart ache for us and I'm really just ready to know something, anything, good or bad. If you have any advice to share or need any be sure to contact me through comments or email. Wish me luck next week!!

My Vacation From Work

This week has been a great week! One of the Doctors was out this week and his nurse was looking for hours, so I gladly gave up mine. She really had to twist my arm for this favor! I only had to work on Monday and the rest of the week was mine to enjoy. My husband took Tuesday and Wednesday off to spend time with us. We didn't really do anything, went to the Zoo one day, shopping a couple of days and the pool everyday. My daughter begged to go to the water park everyday so of course I gave in. Although I couldn't go today. I'm extremely pale. I don't tan at all, I just burn, and every once in awhile I will turn a darker shade of white. So yesterday we were only going to stay at the water park for an hour so I didn't put any sunblock on myself. I don't know what I was thinking. I slathered sunblock all over her, but decided not to put it on myself. I've always gotten sun burnt very easily, but I guess I thought maybe this summer will be different. Maybe this summer I will turn that golden sun kissed brown that I've only dreamed about... WAKE UP JESSICA!!!! Do you think that happened? Of course not! In fact, that hour we were at the pool I got so sun burnt I couldn't even lay on my back last night. So, needless to say I didn't get out in the sun today. My daughter on the other hand doesn't burn at all. She turns a beautiful tan first time she's out in the sun. I'm a bit jealous!

I really think this week has done me good. Usually when I have vacation scheduled we go on an adventure out of town and are really busy being tourist, but I think this has been the most relaxing vacation ever. I made a list of things around the house that I wanted to get done, like paint my daughter's room and organize the storage room. But I didn't do a thing on it. I just spent quality time with my daughter and husband. I would highly recommend a vacation from work to everyone. Things at work can get stressful at times and even going away for a vacation can be stressful. This has been a very stress free week that I hate to see end!